Since my return to sex work full time, the amount of people who have either asked me directly or on the behalf of someone they know who follows me/has seen my more obvious adult content to give them pointers has reached critical mass. It has me feeling compelled enough to actually sit down and start writing a very loose, very “this is only my experience, yours may vary” quasi-guide to adult content creation and live streams.
Digital Doxy-ing 101.
First rule, don’t. Second rule, do as I say not as I do.
So here’s a couple things I want to make clear before I even dip a toe into explaining my slutty research and results over the last 18 years.
First and foremost, I am not an expert. I don’t consider myself at the top of my field or even in my category, should there actually be one I fit into. I am just someone who is extremely stubborn and has found that sex work is something I have a natural skill and love for. And with that sort of wiring I have spent the last 18ish years trying to figure out how best to make it work for me.
There is some basic wisdom I can impart, but overall it is quite literally what you make of it and sometimes, it won’t even be that. It’s an unstable and unpredictable industry. It’s filled with wonderful people and humans that can only be described as sprawling haunted mansions walking around wrapped in flesh. Your co-workers are your competition (a design feature from the industry, not a flaw). It’s a weird, amazing job that will absolutely have the potential to get you fired, evicted and shunned from the less open parts of every day life. It comes with a heavy stigma (in the US at least) & a lot of social consequences I don’t think the average person ever even considers before they have the thought of “I should totally sell feet pics”.
Another big thing I don’t think most people casually fucking around with OF or whatever god forsaken brand has decided to maximize on the least utilized of the internet netizens: if you do any form of sex work on the internet it will more than likely always be there on some random site or collecting dust on a hard drive somewhere. No matter how well you think you’ve deleted any evidence of you participating in it – the internet is forever. And so long as the internet remains so does the risk of you being exposed to people you forgot even existed.
“But it’s behind a pay wall.”
Okay, so is GTA6 and that shit still got leaked. No honor among perverts and whores.
Before I get too far off on a tangent like usual, lets bring it back around to the beginning. The first rule of sex work. Don’t. If you have other means and methods of making money, try them first. Sex work is already overloaded with newbies who are stumbling their way through the industry, most producing content that is embarrassingly low quality compared to the average (self or otherwise) educated creator’s wares. I’m not talking college educated or even some online scam course they took on content creation and customer interactions. Just… being in the shit for an extended period of time and listening to other people who have been in the shit longer than you. That sort of education.
If someone does manage to blow up from whatever vanilla platform their parasocial roots cling to (meaning they already have the means to make high quality photo and video content) they usually STILL manage to suck whatever goodness the bottom 98% of sex workers have built up out while publicly making us look fucking insane. The lens of criticism should also be squarely aimed at the consumer especially in cases like Bath Water Gate and Bonnie Blue.
But if you insist, do it safely, sanely and with a bit of fuckin’ self-respect. You probably read that last part with a raised eyebrow so allow me to elaborate.
Self-respect isn’t in the refusal to “stoop so low as to exchange some form of sexual release for financial compensation”. It isn’t in how you dress or what you do really. It’s in knowing your worth. It’s in NOT doing what you don’t want to if you’re in a position where you don’t have to. It’s in knowing who you are, what you bring to the conversation and being proud of that despite what society at large might say or think.
If you can’t start with that as a foundation, I wouldn’t advise you to start down this path at all. People will come in from either side of the industry and utilize that to their advantage while not giving a single fuck about the fallout you might experience or negative effect it might have on your life. You will come out of this just another victim of one of capitalism’s most finely tuned and well hidden, ever-hungry machines screaming about the abuses within the industry of which there are many.
I’m not here to debate that at all, I freely admit from the top down this industry is absolutely rotten with greedy, evil people both behind the scenes & in front of the cameras. But of all the forms survival under capitalism takes, this one is the most flexible. And for some personality types it’s the one that fits the best. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to participate in the horrible parts to make a living, but you do have to be consistent and protective as fuck over your time and efforts.
If you absolutely fucking insist that this is what you want then I’d like to freely give out whatever knowledge about the industry I’ve managed to retain over the last couple of decades so I guess this is your official warning of and welcome to Digital Doxy-ing 101.
